Songs About Everything
Written and Sung by John Primm
Little Black Things - for Steve Allen fans
This is one of my favorites, for it helps me remember the crazy humor of Steve Allen.
I liked him so much that my boy's names ended up being Steven and Alan!
If you remember his show you might recall him using the term "little black things,"
which he used if there was a mess on his desk. "Your sister's bird" is another phrase
I heard several times. And he would often talk about a thing using one word and
say that "it is commonly called" something else. Perhaps some of the other terms
in this song were part of his deal, but I don't remember anymore. Too bad I didn't
work in a high pitched "Smock! Smock!" into this song. Remember that?
Oh they're horrible, ghastly, awful, ahhhhhhh!
Terrible, rancid, morbid, baaaah
Smelly, slimey, slippery gish
Pungent, putrid, repulsive yish.
Oh these are things little black things are
Wherever you go, they'll be thar
In fish bowls and garbage and telephone poles
On lovely ferns in rolling knolls.
Oh they're under seats where gum is laid
On flimsy green money that's not been paid
On the side of your shoe and beneath your heel
They're even on bottoms of boats that is commonly called the keel
They're on trading stamps, on cuts that hurt
In doggy dog piles and piggy bird dirt
Under a rock and the side of a tree - ah ha!
Little blacks are there to see.
They're on ball point pens, on your big toe
On that bloke there that's got B.O.
On top of Old Smokey and beyond the blue
There's some on sister's bird and there's some on you!
Oh they're horrible, ghastly, awful, ahhhhhhh!
Pungent, putrid, repulsive, baaaah
And no matter what you say
Little black things are here to stay!